Ketakutan Diri Sendiri

Tulisan ini terinspirasi dari penulis kesukaan saya, Aan Mansyur

Pada tahun ini, saya takut apabila saya tidak bisa mendapatkan apa yang saya impikan. Atau barangkali cinta kandas di tengah jalan. Saya takut apabila suatu hari nanti, saya mendapat kabar buruk dari orang yang tidak saya kenal tentang orang tua saya. Saya takut kehilangan teman. Saya takut tidak dipercayai lagi. Saya takut apabila saya berubah menjadi orang yang saya benci. Saya takut apabila saya menjadi pecundang, mencari-cari alasan dibalik semua kegagalan. Saya takut apabila saya menjadi pembangkang, tinggi hati terhadap kuasa Tuhan. Saya takut apabila saya menjadi pembual, bercerita tentang keburukan dan menerka-nerka hidup orang lain.

Saya takut, bila suatu hari nanti, saya tidak menyadari bahwa ketakutan ini telah saya alami dan tidak cepat-cepat berbenah diri.


Bedtime: past, current, future

Let’s this prompt rolling.

As I grow older, I notice I have various bedtime ritual from time to time.

  • Past

I set the time when I was still in elementary and junior high school. I rarely slept after 9 p.m. I WAS an early riser. Before I slept, I did my homework. Typically, a student. I listened to radio until I felt sleepy. The only night that I could stay all night was Saturday night and I always anticipated that day knowing there would be good movies aired on TV. My brother would be my companion and we would fall asleep in front of TV. That’s gold.

  • Current

I turned to be a night owl when I was a senior high school student. I was introduced to the world of fandom and it seems internet never satisfied me.  I have to juggle between my school assignment and internet. When I am about to sleep, I think whom I will text tomorrow as I have this bad habit to postpone replying the messages. Also, I will think whether I should fry my noodle or boil it for my breakfast instead…..duh. Ladies and gentlemen, my kind of priorities.

  • Future

I am sure a dreamer or a daydreamer, even I have my own ideal bedtime concept for my future. I really wish to sleep in a high-building with wide windows revealing a breathtaking night views. I wish to live in urban area though. I really wish I will be someone who is more devoted to books in her bedtime. I wasted countless nights stalking celebrities on instagram, scrutinizing other people’s post in my mind. I am a sinful person even before I close my eyes to sleep.