Life after college

How’s life.
Mine is so unforeseen.
Setelah sidang skripsi kemaren, now I am applying for some scholarships, to get a good grip of my life, again.
I used to be a screw-up back then. I had no motivation to finish my thesis or even continue my education. WTF.
I watched One Piece episodes like there’s no tomorrow. Lurking aimlessly at manga online, I wasted my hours effortlessly.
But, I don’t want to take the regret.
Now, I am studying TOEFL-IELTS in a row. Good luck, my brain!
I prepare one day one skill for my self-study. I just learnt some Reading strategies today. But, the most difficult skill to study is writing for sure. I like writing, but composing it in grammatically correct piece is a pressure. I don’t put any concern using English here as this is my blog and I don’t f- care. Seniors told me that I better have writing mentor to proofread my writing. The question is, siapa yang baik hati mau proofread tulisan saya, without fee? Hehe.
Enough with this study-session brag.

Life gets better when you don’t check your social media often. I limit my argumentation to those online platforms which enable us to see our friends feed, chat them privately, and share it. There is no fixed definition of social media, IMO. Honestly, I don’t get how to differ social networking site and social media. But, let me just discuss under the forementioned limitation.

I hate people easily. They hate me too for sure.
However, I always recall what Jang Geum (Lee Young Ae) said in her drama, “Loving people is easy, but hating is the hardest”. It’s true. Eventhough, you don’t get acquintanted with that person, it’s a burden, at least for me. So, the best thing is I hide/unshare them from my feed.
I feel peaceful.
Temporarily.
However, there is another insecurity coming from me (see the dramatic tone). Most of my high-school mates are already in high-end and prestigious career/graduate school. I don’t hate them. I hate myself who can’t stop comparing my life with them. Those ‘everywhere quotes’ might say ‘Stop comparing yourself with other people since they have different background story’ and my inner bitch mind refutes ‘What if I know they come from filthy rich family and genius brain?’ ‘What if it’s people’s comment which hurt you the most’ ‘What if their life is the one that you want the most since the beginning’. Not so good rebuttals, no?
So, I uninstalled my Path, first. Accessing Path is like opening Pandora box. You are dead curious for your friends’ feed yet you feel inferior the instance you know your friends get more successful. Most of my friends post their lives in Path now. So, I think uninstalling Path will be like a recovery for me to not feeling inferior anymore. Not to mention, Path is consuming my storage space eventhough I don’t use it.
Indeed, I don’t check my any other social media/social networking site like Facebook, LINE, BBM, Instagram frequently anymore. I check Twitter frequently as I love to check upcoming news from my timeline instead of going to check their website first.
Social media memang bisa jadi pedang. Terutama lidah penggunanya.

 

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